


Overactive Imagination

by Bloodyloveletters



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Dark subject matter, M/M, Mentions of Murder, but it turns out fine in the end, don't worry this isn't a cheating fic either, if you're worried read the end notes, shyanexchange2k18, shyanwritingevents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 12:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15885912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodyloveletters/pseuds/Bloodyloveletters
Summary: Ryan's not the jealous type, he swears. But he's noticed a few things about Shane that have left him a little worried. He's not jealous, he just has an overactive imagination.





	Overactive Imagination

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElasticElla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/gifts).



> This is part of the Shyan Exchange 2k18! Unfortunately, my original partner dropped out within the first few days and I was assigned to someone else, so after a rocky start I'm so glad to be a part of this. Regardless, hope you enjoy this ElasticElla and it’s what you hoped for!
> 
> I haven’t put the prompt in the summary to avoid spoiling the story, but if you want to read that first, it’s in the end notes.
> 
> Would just like to extend my thanks to the admins of shyanwritingevents (yaboybergara and beaniegara on tumblr) who’ve done an amazing job and none of this would be possible without! You’re both fab, and thanks for the help with my partner switch!

“Hello?” Jen answered her phone.

“Hi Jen, could you let Shane know he left his charger plugged into my computer and that I’ll put it in his mailbox on my way home?” Ryan said, drumming his fingers lightly on the steering wheel as he spoke through the bluetooth on his car.

“Hey, I mean I could, but I’m not with him if that’s why you’re ringing me,” Jen laughed on the other end of the phone.

“Oh, I thought he said he was out with you tonight,” said Ryan, “And he’s not answering his phone. I figured it must’ve died.”

“No, I’m with Sara. We have plans next week though, that could be the confusion” said Jen, “Sorry I couldn’t help.”

“No problem, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ryan said. 

They exchanged goodbyes and ended the call as Ryan pulled up outside Shane’s apartment building. He knew the code for the first floor door so let himself into the stairwell where the mailboxes were and unceremoniously shoved Shane’s charger through the slot. He also went over to the intercom to be let up the stairs and buzzed the one for Shane, but after a second with no reply, he left.

 

Ryan wasn’t the jealous type. Or at least he tried not to be. He loved Shane and he trusted him and he knew logically that nothing was going on but he also had a famously overactive imagination. Getting back into his car, Ryan contemplated, his brain kindly replayed the conversation he and Shane had earlier that day. He was sure Shane had said he was out with Jen tonight, not next week. And that’s why he couldn’t stay at Ryan’s after work. It didn’t make sense either that he wasn’t in, because he obviously wasn’t doing what he said he was. The word lie floated round Ryan’s brain as he drove.

He took a deep breath and reprimanded himself. Just because Shane was his boyfriend doesn’t mean he has to know where he is every waking moment, that’s just obsessive. And besides, he doesn’t have any evidence at all he intentionally lied, rather than just making a mistake. Evidence. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and concentrated solely on the road. Before long, however, he pressed the phone button on his dashboard, scrolled to Shane (home) and hit call.

“Hey, um, it’s Ryan. Just letting you know that your charger is in your mailbox. That’s all, hope you had a nice night with Jen, okay, bye.” Ryan said lightly. 

 

The call was maybe a bit jealous-type-y, he had to admit. He shouldn’t be trying to catch his boyfriend in a lie, but if Shane had nothing to hide, he had nothing to be afraid of. Or at least that’s how he justified it. It was only later that he felt guilty when he got a text from Shane thanking him and joking that he’d gotten the day wrong for drinks with Jen and ended up getting two Ubers for nothing.

Ryan greeted Shane extra warmly at the elevator the next day.

 

-

 

It was too easy to spiral in a situation like this, Ryan told himself. He was prone to it and when it came to this sort of thing, his paranoia took over and he didn’t have Shane to talk him down. And that’s how he’s ended up here, sitting at his desk, looking at a roughly folded piece of lined paper he kept at the back of his work notebook. It had no title - Ryan wasn’t an idiot and he didn’t want to make this look any more incriminating than it already did. Just a list of fairly cryptic descriptions that only he, and possibly Shane, would understand.

 

Drinks with J - wrong day 2/7

‘Working out’ - gym bag at mine 2/13

Late to dinner, no explanation 2/18

Seeing Scott - Scott in IL ??? 2/22

Late to dinner, but no plans in the day 2/24

Working on Sara’s video - evasive about topic 2/26

Cancelled on dinner 2/27

 

Seeing the fruits of his doubt laid out in from of him just made him feel uneasy. He played with the corner of the paper, toying with the idea of screwing it up and putting it in the trash right now. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about them anyway so instead he picked up his pen and leant close to his desk, quickly scratching another point to the list.

Off work, no explanation 2/28

He didn’t want to look at it after that, so quickly slipped it into the back of his notebook and turned to the pages containing notes for a true crime case he was researching, carefully avoiding looking at Shane’s empty desk. He opened a word document and vowed to get on with some actual work and starting typing up a draft of a script. The timeline of events surrounding the kidnapping he was going to cover was open in front of him. He had scribbled the evidence that had been gathered surrounding each event in the margins, as he always did when preparing the theories for a video. His brain sat in tick over as he looked at the list of events, each dated. Against every grain of “better judgment” in his body, he turned back to his untitled ‘Shane’ list and stared at it. He looked around him but his desk was on the end of row of three desks - Shane wasn’t here and the next one along was vacant - which meant he had a relatively high level of privacy in the open plan office. Quietly, he opened google maps, typing in the bar Jen and Shane visited a few weeks ago and then Shane’s address. Only a ten minute walk separated the two places; Ryan added this annotation to his list. Doing so gave him a twisting feeling of guilt in the back of his throat but it didn’t stop him.

 

Nearly an hour had passed and the list of Shane’s activities was now covered in research. He’d even sent emails to colleagues about videos they filmed with Shane. He had begun on a second piece of paper with neater notes and further questions when TJ approached.

“You heard about this, Ryan?” TJ said, holding out his phone, open on a story. Ryan took it with one hand, while hurriedly closing his notebook to hide the incriminating paper.

“What is it?” Ryan said but TJ remained silent as he began reading the story.

 

CASES ARE BEING TREATED AS LINKED IN LA SERIAL KILLER CASE

 

3 recent murder cases, the most recent of which believed to have occurred last night, are being treated as linked in an ongoing investigation into the possibility of a serial killer operating in south California. It appears that the killer is targeting the suspects of unconvicted violent crimes against women. It has been suggested that this killer may be acting as a vigilante, bringing so-called “justice” against those that go unpunished.

 

“For the Unsolved Network maybe? It’s local and current which could catch some new viewers. Could even do a whole True Crime episode on it if you think there’s enough to work with. Either way, thought you’d find it interesting.” TJ said as Ryan looked back up at him, before taking back his phone.

“I don’t know about covering an ongoing case, it feels insensitive somehow,” ‘and dangerous’ he thought to himself as he trailed off, “But I’ll have a look anyway, thanks.”

 

TJ was right that it would make a great case, intriguing enough to distract him from any other sort of research for at least two hours. All four cases had taken place in a relatively small area and although nothing connected the victims directly, their not-so-pleasant behaviour seem to make the motives of the killer plain. It would be especially interesting to discuss the ethical question of killing possible-but-unconvicted violent criminals in an episode.

He’d spent the last few hours looking into the case when Sara approached his desk. 

“Hey, is everything ok? Jen said she got a weird email from you about Shane, and I got one as well about videos he was in?” said Sara.

He hesitated as he smiled at him, looking just a little concerned. If he was honest, he was desperate to share his fears with someone and Sara was more understanding than most.

“Can I explain it over lunch?” Ryan said.

 

They arranged to meet in reception and go to a cafe just round the corner. It didn’t take long for Ryan to explain his situation. He didn’t actually accuse Shane of anything, just explained what he’d noticed and then how earlier that morning he’d taken it too far.

“I’m not the jealous type,” Ryan looked helplessly at the coffee in front of him, which he’d nearly finished by now. 

“No, well, you don’t need to worry then,” Sara said, before adding “You are worried though.”

“Yeah, I am. It’s happened too many times and more and more regularly and it’s become too hard to ignore,” Ryan said.

“How many times?” 

“Eight,” Ryan answered immediately, and Sara just raised her eyebrows across the table. He reached under the table to his laptop bag, bringing out his notebook, placing the original list, now covered in his jottings, out in front of her.

Sara took it in silently for a moment before looking at him, except rather than the glare of judgement he expected, she frowned in sympathy. 

“Do you really think he could be-” she hesitated- “cheating?”

“Not really, not logically. I want to be able to trust him but I get some paranoid sometimes and I just end up feeling guilty,” said Ryan.

“You can’t live like this, though.” Sara gestured with the paper, laughing ruefully, “You need to talk to him about it.”

 

He drove home that evening with his head full of thoughts. Sara had been right, he needed to confront Shane. Regardless of whether Shane had actually done anything wrong, they needed to communicate better for the sake of Ryan’s sanity. He shouldn’t have to investigate his boyfriend - besides anything it was an invasion of privacy and he was already dreading fessing up to it, but also Shane shouldn’t leave him feeling so left in the dark. He would go home, ring Shane and just bring up the whole ordeal.  
Two hours later, Shane hadn’t answered Ryan’s call or his text. Sure, it wasn’t that long. If Shane was sick off work, he could well be asleep. But Ryan was already worked up about Shane’s lack of communication and he struggled to see how unreasonable he was being. After angrily checking his phone for the hundredth time, he threw it down on the sofa and grabbed his laptop bag instead.

 

The script he was writing was far too tedious to hold his attention and he’d barely written fifty words when his phone screen flashed on. It wasn’t Shane, however, instead a newsflash about the vigilante. He quickly scanned the story. Another body had been found earlier that day, though it was suspected that the victim had died the night before. Suitably intrigued, he closed down the script and instead brought up one of the more active, if morbid chat rooms he frequented when looking for more outlandish theories for Unsolved. Already there were boards discussing the pattern of victims, with various people chiming in to say whether the new victim had fit their pet theory. He quickly became engrossed in case, which was being referred to as “West Coast Dexter” on some of the boards. A little while digging through message boards cooled his temper and eventually he could feel himself getting tired, his eyes dry and burning from reading the poor colour combinations on some of the more niche forums and blogs. 

 

His phone buzzed next to him. Shane’s contact picture was glowing on the screen, lighting up the now totally dark living room.

“Hey,” Ryan said as he answered the call.

“Hey, did you need me?” Shane’s voice was rough with sleep and Ryan’s anger, which had long since died, was swept away entirely.

“I was just checking how you were,” Ryan yawned down the phone as he finished.

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry Ry,” his voice was soft and warm, a tone that reminded Ryan of the loving side of Shane only his closest friends, and Ryan, got to see.

“No I was awake, just tired,” he knew he didn’t have anything close to the energy for an argument and clearly Shane didn’t either based on his sleeping schedule. He felt the issue of the list reduce in importance to insignificance at that moment, and concluded he’d leave it for now.

“Well get some sleep, yeah?”

“I will, goodnight, love you,” Ryan mumbled, he was already shutting his laptop lid and getting up from the sofa for bed.

“Love you too.”

Ryan fell asleep grateful that Shane had been asleep when he called. He had been too worked up to have a reasonable conversation that day, after spending all morning obsessing over it. He vowed to let it go for now, and only bring it up if it bothered him again in the future.

 

It’s weird, how he noticed it at first. A strange connection that there’s only a one in a million chance he’d have noticed. 

A week had passed, Shane had recovered from his illness and was now out of town visiting his family in Illinois. Leaving Ryan nothing specific to do, and knowing it was best for him to have something to focus on, he decided to put some time into researching the West Coast Dexter case a little more. The police had officially added four much earlier cases, spread out across the last year that had previously not been considered linked. With a total of eight victims now to consider, the message boards were lively with theory. It was a bit childish, he knew, and definitely pretty morbid, but since he so often research unsolved cold cases, where each theory had already by considered countless times, he was enjoying the thrill of adding new points and making fresh links. He was (technically) a professional at this, after all, and had even created an alias to start commenting in chat rooms.

 

He’d become maybe a little too deeply invested in this case by the time he came across a thread about the pattern of victims. It was clear that after each death, the next one would be closer than the last. The first was from nearly a year ago and then the next not until four months later. Then there were three within five days of each other at the end of February. One week into March and there hadn’t been another. The change of pattern suggested to some that the killer had stopped, or to others that he was planning another spate. But to Ryan, it suggested something else. Something that sat in the back of his mind and he couldn’t shift. He brought up a timeline of the killings that someone had helpfully made and he’d bookmarked last week.

 

J. Martinez killed Feb 13th

M. Nelson killed Feb 22nd

T. Rose killed Feb 24th

M. Donnelly killed Feb 27th

 

The numbers feel familiar and he knows from where. He quickly digs out the work notebook from his bag, turns to the back and finds the list. He had purposely not looked at it in over a week, although hadn’t quite gotten around to throwing it away yet. Taking a pen, he scanned the list and highlighted four dates. They matched. Every day that West Coast Dexter had killed, Shane had also been secretive about his whereabouts. Ryan just stared at the notepaper in front of him. He didn’t move for some minutes, until his hand started shaking and he had to put the paper down.

 

He paced up and down his living room. This was ridiculous, it was completely insane and he shouldn’t even entertain the thought. It was one thing to keep track of your boyfriend’s actions because you thought he was cheating. It was a whole other thing to suspect him of… of… What was he suspecting him of? Did he really think Shane could be a serial killer? No, he absolutely did not. Just like he didn’t think Shane could be cheating on him either, not logically. Not sensibly.

 

He quickly looked up the other dates of suspected victims, and scrolled to each day on his camera roll. One was before they became a couple, and a weekend, so they hadn’t seen each other. The next had been not long after they first slept together, but they hadn’t been together that day either. The third, there was no Shane, but instead a picture of Quinta. They’d filmed for the post mortem but Shane had been out of the office. By now he was sweating. He knew this proved nothing at all but he was still grinding his teeth as he scrolled to the final date associated with West Coast Dexter.

 

He felt himself tear up when he saw the pictures. It was a Friday night and a bunch of people were out from the office. Waves of relief left him almost dizzy as he swiped through series of selfies of him and Shane, each smiling or pulling dorky faces, the last one with Shane kissing his cheek. Next was a video saved from snapchat, which he pressed play on. On screen, Shane was walking out of the parking lot of a bar near work towards the street, waving back at the camera.

“Bigfoot is going home! Boring!” He could hear himself, audibly drunk, shouting at Shane.

The camera swung round to Jen and Kelsey, who were laughing in the parking lot.

“I was gonna suck his dick and everything,” Ryan said, far too loudly. The video cut out with both of them laughing, leaving the Ryan watching both cringing and nervous.

 

He left early. He wasn’t with them all night. Ryan quickly scrolled to the victim from that night. Stephen Hook. Found the next morning, suspected time of death 11.30. The video of Shane leaving was stamped just before 11. By now, his hands were sweating as he scrolled to a post he had looked at just this morning. A map with the last known locations of all the victims, their movements throughout the day and then the spot where the body was found. His heart sunk looking at that tiny red x. Hook’s last confirmed location was less than a mile from the bar.

 

Ryan sunk back into the sofa, pushing his phone and laptop to his side. He rubbed his face roughly, pressing his palms into his eyes. 

“Is Shane killing people?” he doesn’t quite know why he says it aloud to the empty room. He doesn’t even have a pet to listen but he says it nonetheless.

He opened his phone, flicking to the selfies they took that night. The crinkles under Shane’s eyes when he smiled with his mouth open, the sloppy lovey look in his own eyes when Shane surprises him with a kiss on the cheek. It makes his stomach hurt thinking about that night. He can remember now, it was the first day they’d actually told the office they were together and Shane was so genuinely joyful to give him the occasional kiss in front of their coworkers, as well hearing their excited support of the relationship. How could Shane be a bad guy?

 

He scrambled back to his computer and looks at the profiles he’s saved on each of the victims. They’re rapists, abusers, violent men who hurt women for fun. Shane, even if he was killing these men, could his goofy dork of a boyfriend really be that bad? He knew Shane was an action oriented kind of guy. He could definitely be scary at times, Ryan had seen that first hand (and enjoyed it). He was a private person but he was good. He was genuinely and wholeheartedly good and if he really was killing these men, perhaps that was okay. Perhaps it was the good thing to do. Arguably, he was saving the lives of innocent women who these men hurt.

 

Ryan didn’t sleep that night. Well not properly. He read more and more unreliable sources claiming to have insights into the mind of the killer, hunched over his laptop in the gradually dimming room. He only moved to get coffee and the caffeine didn’t help his jittery hands. With each idea he read, he tested it against Shane. At first, they tended to condemn the killer for going outside the law, which was of course true. But Ryan found these less compelling. As the night bore on, he strayed into the darker corners of this online presence. These sites tended to be in favour of vigilante justice and many commended West Coast Dexter for their actions. Ryan was beginning to struggle to separate the two in his mind.

 

Ryan awoke slumped over on his sofa, his brain foggy and muddled. He’d never bothered to close the curtains last night so the room was bright; In the cold light of day, the piles of strewn scrap paper did look a little deranged. He heard the jangle of keys and Shane’s voice from the hall, and last night rushed back so fast it could’ve knocked him to the ground if he wasn’t sitting.

“Are you awake, little guy? Thought I’d drop in on the way home,” Shane’s voice was light and sing-song-y but it terrified Ryan in this moment. He jumped up and attempted to greet Shane at the door but, at that moment he entered the room. Shane looked around half ready to laugh at the bleary eyed Ryan stumbling through a mess of papers.

“What’s all this? Did you lose it while I was gone?” Shane’s almost laughing, and reaching to pick up some papers from the arm of the sofa.

“Um, nothing,” Ryan's heart was thundering. He cursed himself and his runaway imagination as he grabbed the sheet of paper out of Shane’s hand.

“What happened?” Shane gestured wildly at the sheets of paper surrounding Ryan. His name was painfully obvious on many of them.

“Nothin-” Ryan begins to say but he’s cut off.

“Don’t say nothing again,” Shane’s voice is sharper than normal, and his step towards Ryan causes the other to shrink back instinctively. Shane recognises Ryan when he’s scared all too well but this only worries him further, “What have you done, Ry?”

Ryan takes a deep breath and steadies himself for what is probably the biggest risk he’s ever going to take. He doesn’t know what time last night he realised this but it was do or die time.

“I know what you’re doing,” he looks at Shane really intently in the eyes, trying desperately to convey both honesty and trust, “And I’m okay with it.”

“What?” Shane sounds more angry than confused now and Ryan instantly regrets his timing but what choice did he have. Ryan is determined not to be scared, however, so he takes a step towards Shane and stands as tall as he can.

“I worked it out, I didn’t mean to but I did and,” Ryan takes a deep breath before continuing, “it’s fine. I love you and that’s what matters.”

“Ryan, what do you think I did?” his voice was cold and almost deadpan.

“This must be scary for you but I know you-” he swallowed, his voice had begun to shake but instead he laughed nervously as he continued- “I suppose I have to be comfortable enough to say it- I know you kill people.”

 

The silence in the room was pressed heavy onto Ryan’s ears while he awaited a response. It was a long silence, and Shane’s expression, if Ryan wasn’t the most scared he’d ever been, would’ve been comical. He blinked at Ryan, looked around him, blinked at Ryan again. 

“You’d be alright with me killing people?” Shane said finally, almost entirely emotionless. 

“I am alright with it,” replied Ryan, trying to sound resolute.

“Oh, you think I am killing people?” He was speaking very slowly, as if the words themselves sounded foreign to him.

“It’s hard to explain how I worked it out. Don’t worry though, only I could make the connection. The cops have no idea. I only realised last night to be honest with you, because I was looking into the LA Serial Killer, I mean you know you’ve been in the news right? But I just want you to know, that I’ve thought about it and I think I’m okay with vigilant style-” Ryan started babbling, as if compensating for how slowly Shane was speaking.

“I’m not a serial killer,” Shane interrupted him.

“No it’s okay, Shane. You can be honest with me, I know you’re West Coast Dexter and it’s okay. It’s good even, you’re killing bad bad people and the world is better off without them,” Ryan continued babbling, trying to fill the throbbing silence in the room.

“Who the fuck is West Coast Dexter?!” Shane honestly felt like he must be dreaming now.

“You, asshole!” Ryan shouted back now.

“I can’t believe you just called someone who you think is a murderer an ‘asshole’!” Shane returned equally loudly, although this really wasn’t the point he wanted to be talking about right now.

“You wouldn’t kill me, you only kill like rapists and abusers and really bad people,” Ryan pointed out, as if he’d somehow outsmarted someone.

“One, how do you know who I kill? You have terrible self preservation instincts. Two, I’m not actually a serial killer, Ryan!” Shane was waving his arms wildly. How was this an argument they were having? How many couples have this fight?

Shane watched as Ryan deflated, suddenly looking exhausted. The warmth in his cheeks started to drain away and his eyes turned horrified to Shane’s face, “You’re not West Coast Dexter, are you?”

Before Shane could assure Ryan, he was in fact, not a serial killer, Ryan fainted, collapsing back onto the sofa behind him.

 

-

 

Ryan snuggled into Shane’s chest. The evidence of his madness had been cleared off the sofa and coffee table to make space for them. He took a handful of popcorn out of the whole on Shane’s knee, feeling a lot less weak now he’d hand some water and toast.

“So you’re telling me, you spent all weekend convinced I was a serial killer, researching my crimes and coming to terms with the fact you’d still want to be my boyfriend?” Shane laughed as he spoke, running a comforting hand down Ryan’s side, “And subsequently got so obsessed that you didn’t eat or drink anything but coffee?”

“Yep, that’s it,” Ryan said, without looking away from the TV screen playing some light entertainment show. After a disbelieving sigh from Shane, he added, "I have an overactive imagination! Sue me!"

“I can’t believe you love me so much that you’d be okay with having a murderer for a boyfriend,” Shane instantly switched into ‘Teasing Ryan’ mode.

“I thought you were like Dexter! Shut up, Shane!” 

“Be careful who you tell to shut up,” Shane’s voice deepened and he put on the darkest expression he could manage.

“I’m not scared of you,” Ryan sat up and glared at Shane, but gave away his intentions with a smirk.

“Oh so you’re not feeling weak anymore then?” Shane traced his thumb across Ryan’s cheekbone, watching as Ryan bit his lip.

“No, I’m much better,” Ryan straddled Shane on the sofa now, his intentions not-so-subtle as he sat on his knees.

“Thing is, Ry,” Shane’s voice went rapidly from playful to a growl, “I think you rather liked the idea I was dangerous.”  
Ryan nodded and swallowed audibly.

“...That I had a terrible secret.” As he spoke, Shane gripped Ryan’s waist with one hand, while sliding the other lightly up his shirt across his stomach and around his back. He chuckled darkly as he felt Ryan’s muscle tense in response to his touch.

“...That I was powerful.” Shane pulled Ryan closer to him and Ryan was only too happy to oblige.

Shane leant forward now, his face now level with Ryan’s neck. He nipped at Ryan’s rapid pulse point, like he’d done plenty of times before. Ryan yelped, then moaned.

“...That I know how to hurt someone,” Shane’s tone was slow and dripping. Ryan’s breathing was heavy and he was squirming in Shane’s lap. Shane gripped the top of his thighs to still him before continuing, his voice painfully slow, “Do you think I’m dangerous, Ry?”

Ryan never answered, instead pulling Shane into a fierce kiss with a sigh of relief.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt:
> 
> serial killer au(ish): in which ryan is slowly convinced that his boyfriend shane is indeed a serial killer, accepts it, and sits shane down to explain that it's okay/he still loves him no matter what  
> shane, not being a serial killer is Very worried his boyfriend would be okay with him murdering people  
> ('I figured you were like Dexter! Shut up Shane!’)
> 
> Thank you all (and especially ElasticElla) for reading!


End file.
